Friday, October 03, 2003

Hear ye! Hear ye!

All rise. The case of The Bush Administration v. Andrew Sullivan will now commence.

Mr. Sullivan, your opening statement.

The administration claimed that Saddam had used WMDs in the past, had hidden materials from the United Nations, was hiding a continued program for weapons of mass destruction, and that we should act before the threat was imminent. The argument was that it was impossible to restrain Saddam Hussein unless he were removed from power and disarmed. The war was legally based on the premise that Saddam had clearly violated U.N. resolutions, was in open breach of such resolutions and was continuing to conceal his programs with the intent of restarting them in earnest once sanctions were lifted.

President Bush responds:
Saddam Hussein is a man who told the world he wouldn't have weapons of mass destruction, but he's got them. He's a man who a while ago who was close to having a nuclear weapon. Imagine if this madman had a nuclear weapon. It's a man who not only has chemical weapons, but he's used chemical weapons against some of his neighbors. He used chemical weapons, incredibly enough, against his own people. He can't stand America. He can't stand some of our closest friends...

No, he's a threat. And that's why I went to the United Nations.

Anything else, Mr. President?

The dictator of Iraq and his weapons of mass destruction are a threat to the security of free nations. He is a danger to his neighbors. He's a sponsor of terrorism. He's an obstacle to progress in the Middle East. For decades he has been the cruel, cruel oppressor of the Iraq people...

Saddam Hussein has a history of mass murder. He possesses the weapons of mass murder.

Thank you, sir. Let's move on. Wait. I'm sorry. You wanted to continue Mr. President?

The chemical attack on Halabja -- just one of 40 targeted at Iraq's own people -- provided a glimpse of the crimes Saddam Hussein is willing to commit, and the kind of threat he now presents to the entire world.

Go on...

Recognizing the threat to our country, the United States Congress voted overwhelmingly last year to support the use of force against Iraq. America tried to work with the United Nations to address this threat because we wanted to resolve the issue peacefully.

Thank you sir, but we don't have time for much more of this.

At any moment during the last 97 days -- and during the last 12 years -- Saddam Hussein could have completely and immediately disarmed himself. Instead, he's used all this time to build and to hide weapons. He must be hoping that by stalling he'll buy himself another 12 years. He's wrong. This country will not accept a serious and mounting threat to our nation, our people, and our friends and allies.

I think we've heard enough. Yes, yes, Mr. President, we know you have many, many more instances where you said that Saddam had weapons and said that the was a threat, but I think we're wasting the jury's time. We find Andrew Sullivan guilty of looking for the pony in a pile of horseshit. Case closed.


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