Monday, April 26, 2004

Jimmy Breslin has a chat with God
I can't believe that Bush is so dumb that he thinks he actually talks to God.

When I am the only one I know of who talks to God.

I can prove that because God told me that no one else in America speaks to him directly.

I became involved in the religious crisis because I plan to run a religion to take over the Roman Catholic church that has failed so miserably. Let Bishop Breslin be your guide. He can talk to God. Not this cardinal in Rome running for pope, Francis Arinze, who wants to suffocate American temporal life by refusing Communion to any Catholic politician who does not oppose abortion, meaning John Kerry. Already, a past Arinze campaign speech at Georgetown had students leaving and a dean apologizing.

It shows how much I am needed. For I do not take these issues to some dim, musty Vatican.

I talk exclusively to the top of the sky.

'If I were to choose a people from these days of our tiny history, who would be the most favored?' I asked.

'I favor no country or group of people,' he told me when all this started. 'I am for all children, not just American whites.

'I have love for all my children.'

'Still, just tell me one group that has somewhat of an edge. I mean, after American Catholics, that's what I am, as you know. We are the best. Aren't we the best?'


'How can that be? Catholics are the best because Catholics are against same-sex marriages.'

'Not quite.'

'Then who is really good?'


'With all respect, how can you say that? What do they mean? America never even sent any troops into Rwanda.'

'They suffered.'

'What do they have in Rwanda? Muslims.'

'And Catholics.'

'And they each pray to their God?'

'There is only one God,' he said.
Go read the whole thang. Go on.


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