Chain Saw Massacre Revisited
(or Welcome to America
On the morning of April 25, Gregory Despres hitchhiked to the Canadian border crossing at Calais, Maine, carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained by what appeared to be blood.
Bet he got stopped at the U.S. border though - after all, we're livin' in a post-9/11 world now.
Customs officials confiscated the cache of weapons and fingerprinted Despres, but allowed him to enter the United States -- not knowing the gruesome scene about to unfold in the hitchhiker's hometown.[Nitpicker emphasis]
Boy, was I wrong (Well, it's not like he had a rocket-powered grenade launcher or anything).
The following day, in the village of Minto, New Brunswick, the decapitated body of a well-known country musician named Frederick Fulton was discovered on his kitchen floor. Police found the 74-year-old man's head in a pillow case under a kitchen table and the body of his common-law wife, Veronica Decarie, stabbed to death in a bedroom.
... While authorities on the Canadian side of the border await his return, a question for customs officials lingers: At a time when the U.S. is tightening its borders, how could a man toting a bloody chain saw be allowed to enter the country?[Nitpicker emphasis]
Imagine if we weren't 'tightening' our borders - feelin' safe now?